It is believed that it is greedy to be bad, but you need to share with others. When someone helps us at a difficult moment, this is really valuable. But it happens that we are asked to share, but we do not want. Why is this happening? And is it necessary to force yourself to do it?

What are we experiencing when we are treated with a request that I do not want to answer? Perhaps inconvenience, shame-after all, we need to be generous, but for some reason we do not feel like that at that moment. We are angry with ourselves, for the one who asks for the service, or to the society that came up with this rule. In any case, what is happening does not give pleasure. We either cross through ourselves and share, or refuse and remain alone with a feeling of guilt or remorse of conscience.

The situation seems hopeless. But at what point something went wrong? Why is it easy and pleasant to share in one case, and in the other we are ready to do anything, if only to avoid it? When we share, we give another part of something that belongs to us, something of our. It can be an object or, for example, the opportunity to stop at our house. Often this brings joy, because we help the one who is dear to us and pretty.

Allowing you to use things, we not only open the door of the apartment in front of a person, but also let in our world, into our boundaries. Personal boundaries exist for a reason, they protect against gross invasion of the outside world, give stability and confidence. Our house, personal items also symbolize part of the interior space. For example, we will allow the guest to sleep on our couch, but most likely we will not offer him to use our toothbrush. Not because we are greedy, but because it is part of the more intimate area of personal space.

Someone has more flexible borders, someone is tougher. If discomfort occurs at the thought of sharing any thing, most likely this action threatens the integrity of our borders. This is not always obvious, since people evaluate the same things differently. Knowing how a friend easily brings up his shoes to someone, we can feel uncomfortable when we are asked for a similar service. So conflict is born inside us: education does not allow us to refuse – after all, we were

taught to help each other since childhood, but a sense of our own boundaries insists on the opposite. It seems to be necessary to do this, but I don’t want to.

Take a hurry to reproach yourself for not generous enough. Surely you will remember situations when helping someone was natural and brought joy. The ability to feel and protect our own boundaries makes us more stable, gives an understanding of what we are ready to go and what will cause discomfort. And when we are safe, it is easier and pleasant to us to give and help others.

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